BDSM Aftercare Guide

 BDSM aftercare is a crucial aspect of responsible and healthy BDSM practice. Aftercare refers to the care and attention given to participants after a BDSM scene or session, designed to help them transition back to a state of emotional, psychological, and physical equilibrium. Here's a guide to BDSM aftercare:

Communication and Negotiation:

Discuss aftercare preferences and needs before engaging in any BDSM activities. Each participant may have different requirements.

Communicate boundaries, triggers, and any potential emotional or physical concerns.

Understanding Aftercare Needs:

Recognize that aftercare needs vary from person to person and can depend on the intensity of the scene.

Some people may need physical affection, verbal reassurance, or simply quiet time to decompress.

Understand that aftercare isn't just for submissives; dominants may also require reassurance and emotional support after a scene.

Physical Aftercare:

Attend to any physical needs such as cleaning wounds, applying ointment, or providing water and snacks.

Embrace physical touch if it's desired, such as cuddling, holding, or gentle massage.

Ensure participants are warm and comfortable.

Emotional Aftercare:

Provide emotional support and reassurance. Validate feelings and experiences.

Encourage open communication about the scene, including what went well and what could be improved.

Address any emotional triggers or potential trauma that may have arisen during the scene.

Verbal Reassurance:

Offer words of affirmation and praise to reinforce trust and connection.

Express gratitude for the experience and for the trust shared during the scene.

Reaffirm boundaries and consent.

Time and Space:

Allow time for participants to process their experiences and emotions.

Respect the need for privacy and personal space if desired.

Avoid rushing the aftercare process; allow it to unfold naturally.

Debriefing:

Schedule a debriefing session if necessary to discuss the scene in more detail.

Reflect on what worked well and what could be improved for future scenes.

Address any concerns or issues that arose during the scene.

Self-Care:

Encourage participants to engage in self-care activities following the scene, such as taking a warm bath, journaling, or engaging in relaxing hobbies.

Practice mindfulness and grounding techniques to help participants reconnect with the present moment.

Follow-Up:

Check in with participants in the days following the scene to ensure they are coping well emotionally and physically.

Be open to ongoing communication and adjustments to aftercare routines based on individual needs and experiences.

Remember, BDSM aftercare is about fostering trust, communication, and emotional well-being. By prioritizing aftercare, participants can deepen their connection, promote mutual respect, and ensure a safe and fulfilling BDSM experience for all involved.

Locked Slaves From Different States in the US in Keyholding

2 from California, 1 from New York, 1 from Mississippi, 1 from Arkansas, 1 from Louisiana joined for short term chastity.

1 from California, 1 from Texas joined for long term chastity.

Let's wait and see slave from which state wins!

Gamble To Win Your Chastity Release Date

I designed this game for my chastity slaves & lockees.

I play the border inspector and you play the smuggler. You can put money in the box or leave the box empty. If I say there's money in box but in fact the box is empty. You win! If I say the box is empty, but in fact there's money. You win!

We play the game 3 rounds in total. If you win all 3 rounds, you earn a immediate release. If you win 2 rounds, you earn a release in 5days.

 

Pay 30usd to play the game!

Gamble to Win Free Chastity Keyholding

The game will be conducted via skype video conference. I write down the name of a constellation on a paper slip and fold it. The folded slip will be under your surveillance all the time so I will not be able to change the answer. Then you can answer the question "What constellation have I written?" You can only make 1 guess. If you have the correct answer, you win my free 2-week chastity keyholding training.

The game fee is $30

Email me to schedule time to play the game

mistress@doctor.com

Keyholding Beta Losers in Beijing/Los Angeles/Sydney

Locked a bunch of sissies and beta losers in Chastity in Beijing/Guangzhou/Sydney/Los Angeles with my remote keyholding.

Most of them are beginners but I will push their limits further.

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Chastity Forum: Should I Buy QIUI Cellmate?

Pros

1 When you first see QIUI Cellmate, I am sure you find the design kinda amazing and cheek.

2 It is made of high strength poly carbonate and provides a good handfeel. 

3 It is very easy to pair the device to realize remote control & keyholding.

4 It's IPX7 waterproof so you can wear it taking a quick shower

Cons

1 Besides looking bulky, cellmate provides very limited size options, to be exact 2 size options so fitting can be a problem for quite some men!

2 Lack of ventilation holes which makes things reek quite quickly. 

3 The tube has almost no ventilation and cleaning proved very difficult at best. 

4 It is ok to use the device for very short remote play for a few hours but not feasible for long term.

5 The current lack of override option on the self timed lock is a big concern. If you need to remove it in an emergency you can’t. It would be more sensible to set very short time to unlock yourself for cleaning and for emergencies.

6 Remote control gets unstable and the system can be hacked so safety becomes a big issue!

7 It is kinda pricy. Its price ranges from $189-$279. A metal/plastic cage + Remote Lock cost $70-$80.

8 It can be easily replaced by any metal/plastic cage/custom made belt +internet controlled lock to realize the function of internet chastity.

Conclusion

I gave up using QIUI Cellmate to do remote keyholding a long time ago because I found better way to realize long distance chastity keyholding. Any metal/plastic cage/belt + Remote lock fits men better and functions much better than cellmate.

Well Worn Items for Sale: Socks/Pantyhose/Stockings/Shoes/Highheels/Bras by Mistress/ Dominatrix

                                        Black Pantyhose

Black High Heels

Black Long Leather Boots

Nude Socks

email mistress@doctor.com to inquire my worn items

Game : Chastity Lockup Period can be Decided in This Way

First measure your waist circumference and prepare the result in cm. 

Take down your dick length in cm when you are 100% hard.

If your waist cicrumference is 80cm and dick length is 20cm, your lockup period is 80-20=60days

You now know what type of men get the longest lockup period?

email me at mistress@doctor.com to enquire my chastity keyholding service

How do I choose between Chastity internal and external Lock?

Many newbie slaves often ask me such question, external and internal lock, which is better ?

Let's briefly take a look at the pros and cons of these two types of chastity locks now.

External locks often cause sound, pinching problems but some people, especially the dominant owner/keyholder may find the sound of lock touching cage sexy! When external lock has seized up, it is easy to remove the cage by simply cutting the lock handle with a bolt cutter.

Internal locks are also known as built-in locks. Keys tend to crack in them over time. When internal lock has seized up, the wearer would wish he had stuck in a cage with external lock because it is much more troublesome to get out of the mess caused by internal locks! Some guys have to go to hospital and it take hours for doctors to solve that!

I personally recommend slaves to use a chastity cage with external lock. As for the sound, friction and pinching problem which can be caused by external locks, you can put a cloth covers/wrapper on the external lock to solve that!

Chastity Game: Your Name Determines Your Chastity Sentence

In the English alphabet, A is the first letter so it represents 1, B represents 2....... Z represents 26.

If the man's first name is Donald, his chastity sentence is 4+15+14+1+12+4=50 (days)

If you are more adventurous and capable, you can use first name +last name to calculate your chastity sentence. 

Email me at mistress@doctor.com to enquire chastity keyholding

Where Do I Find BDSM Therapy/Kinky Treatment?

Why do you need BDSM Therapy?

Here is a list of reasons:

1 Coming out (to self, partner, or someone else) or fear of others discovering BDSM identity or interests;

2 Compulsive issues around sexuality or BDSM;

3 Discomfort with BDSM identity or wanting to extinguish BDSM interests;

4 Fear of not being able to find partner(s) with compatible desires/interests;

5 Identifying or recovering from an abusive dynamic in a BDSM relationship;

6 Guilt and shame about accidentally hurting a partner or crossing a partner’s boundaries;

7 Lack of clarity around sexual interests or type(s) of sensation or power dynamics that would be most satisfying;

8 Mismatch in sexual preferences within a relationship;

9 Difficulty sharing BDSM community space with a former partner after a breakup.

How to Find BDSM Therapist?

You can always come to Mistress Alessandra to talk about a range of issues related to kink and BDSM. It may be because you want to discuss your desires with your partner for the first time, work with issues of acceptance or shame around your sexuality, or feel your want to change the role kink plays in your life.

Email Mistress@doctor.com to book a bdsm therapy 

My Slave's Prince Albert Piercing Experience

My slave had always been intrigued by genital piercings and had seen his fair share, but he never considered it for his little bro. Here he was though, inquiring about getting his own genital piercing. His first question to the piercer was which piercing “down there” would hurt the least. His second question was which piercing required the shortest recovery time. Both questions led him to his Prince Albert piercing!

There’s a lot of taboo behind anything odd or unique in your pants. Big dicks, huge balls, and yes, genital piercings. He remember the experience like it was yesterday, even though the 3-year anniversary of his penis piercing just passed a few days ago. He walked in with a friend, you know, to give him emotional support him through this penis-altering time. His friend held his hand as the piercer asked him to remove his shorts and lay down on the table. The back room looked like a make-shift operating room. He avoided looking at any “tools” or “needles” at all cost, but eventually, his eyes made contact with the item that would terrorize my dick head in the near future.

He can only use this metaphor to describe how his dick probably felt. Remember when you’ve taken your dog or cat into the vet to get spayed or neutered. They probably had no idea what was about to happen until bam, they’re being put under and their two veggies are being snipped away. That’s how his dick felt. It was unaware of what was about to happen, although as he laid on the table, he swore it shrunk a few inches. The piercer walked him through the procedure and he reluctantly smiled while his head shook side to side. What the hell was he doing?! If this wasn’t a crazy idea, he does not know what was! Two minutes later, he felt the cold steel rod insert my urethra (this goes through the piercing hole afterward in order to easily slide the jewelry in) and then a few seconds later, a BIG deep breath. As soon as he blew that breath out, it happened. His dick was not happy. In fact, it shriveled up and for the next two weeks decided not to look at him or stand up straight. It needed its space apparently after what he decided to do.

Here’s the part where you’d expect him to say it felt like he just got stabbed a thousand times in his crotch. Terribly wrong! It’s the number one question people always ask him when he exposes his jewelry-ed junk to them. “Did it hurt?!” His response is always, “On a scale from one to ten, it was about a four.” That’s the pain equivalent of zipping your foreskin up in a zipper. He actually thinks the healing period of the piercing is worse than getting the piercing itself. There was blood — lots of it, but nothing he couldn’t handle! He dirtied up a few coffee mugs through soaking his junk in a saltwater solution and spent many nights cringing at his raging boners that seemed to make the healing process even more painful.

He jerked off 2 weeks after he got his new piercing. It wasn’t pleasurable. The semen making contact with open wounds was excruciating pain. He was quite disappointed and only hoped the next time would be better. Months went by and the healing continued until he was able to perform with his PA as he'd always wanted to. There were no complaints on his end at all. As for the little bro that experienced all the trauma, that’s something you’ll have to ask it. He thinks the tiny bro has gotten over his evil deed.

The most intriguing part of his piercing hasn’t been the pleasure from re-wired nerves in his dick head or the gauging up process (when you increase the size of the piercing ring), but the fact that he was able to do something he’d never in a million years thought he would do. He was also able to realize that the taboo of genital piercings allowed him to explore it more in his own time and space. He saw plenty, asked many questions, and even had his feels inside and out. It’s only until you explore your own taboos that you may realize they’re more normal than you’d even have thought. That’s the true pleasure and that’s what you’ll enjoy the most.

Chastity Keyholder/Mistress For Slaves in Zurich/Geneva/Basel/Bern/Lausanne/Lucerne

 If you seek a key holder, I offer professional chastity key holding service. No matter where you are, I can lock you up instantly through Internet enabled chastity lock to realize the function of online keyholding and forced chastity training.